Thankful...

Although it seems as though my life is in the midst of sadness now as we continue to wait to hear about our house... I am going to make an attempt at focusing on the blessings in my life as there are so many...

I thank God for my husband. He is such a rock for me. Those of you that know me know that my emotions often dictate my actions and Adam has a way of helping me calm down but also bringing me out of my lowest moments of self-pity. And he does it with such charm and grace as if he isn't affected by the sadness that fills our hearts right now. He always finds a way to rise above the situation and for that I am so grateful. He is such a beautiful person who takes such good care of me and the girls. What a blessing for us to have such a wonderful man in our lives who holds us all together and makes our family complete.

I am also thankful for my family's health. We are all doing well now and it is just such a blessing that we take for granted daily. In my line of work, I see cancer patients fighting to stay alive but yet I still don't thank God daily for the air that fills my lungs and the smiling faces of my children. Well I am saying thank you now. Life is truly a precious gift, one that we often neglect... I am so grateful that the small things in my life that are throwing me off course are in fact, small. I should stop complaining and be thankful for our health our family and our God. Without our God, life would be the definitive end. But because we have a God who promises us a life beyond our own, we have direction and purpose and meaning in our daily activities.

Although many of my days are filled with emotion right now, I am glad that I can still take a moment to delight in the peace that God can bring.

The bumps along this journey teach us many lessons and I know that I am experiencing a bump in our family's road right now but someday I will reflect back and see the blessings that befall us and the lessons that we were meant to learn.

Sorrow...

Well it looks as though our buyer is backing out on our property which also means we lose the new house... I don't even know what to think at this point. All the pieces were falling into place and then 4 days before our originally scheduled closing, everything came crashing down and has continued to pound away at our hearts since... we find out today for sure but all signs point to disappointment. I am tired. Tired of hoping and waiting... Tired of disappointment... tired of eating on the floor since our table is in storage...

Perhaps it sounds as though I am complaining but I know no other course at this point... have i prayed about it? yes i have... I don't understand what I am supposed to be learning from this terrible experience... what lesson will come from this that will make me a better person, a better Christian?

My friends, I ask for your prayers today as we wait to hear news...

Today is our four year wedding anniversary... a day of celebrating overshadowed by doubt and fear...